Rend Your Hearts
The books are in! You can pick up your copy in the church office for $10. Yeah!
For awhile during college, I had a motto that went something like this: "Trust no one but yourself and God." I had been too (?) trusting, and deeply hurt by some of my closest friends. But being deeply hurt is not a very fun place to be, so I made it through that time with my new motto. It helped for awhile, but my motto, my new way of life, left me isolated and alone. To trust no one? It stinks! It seems safe, but it is unbearably lonely. When I realized it wasn't a great way to live, I had to adjust my motto. So I had to make myself vulnerable again. Vulnerable to the possiblity being hurt, vulnerable to the possibility of being misled, vulnerable to the possibility being betrayed. But it also opened me back up to the possibilities of being loved, the possibilities of being in community, the possibilities of being open to the wide variety of human emotions that we can experience. Not a fun transition to make, but well worth the struggle.
Shalom to you in the rending of your hearts...
- Melanie
For awhile during college, I had a motto that went something like this: "Trust no one but yourself and God." I had been too (?) trusting, and deeply hurt by some of my closest friends. But being deeply hurt is not a very fun place to be, so I made it through that time with my new motto. It helped for awhile, but my motto, my new way of life, left me isolated and alone. To trust no one? It stinks! It seems safe, but it is unbearably lonely. When I realized it wasn't a great way to live, I had to adjust my motto. So I had to make myself vulnerable again. Vulnerable to the possiblity being hurt, vulnerable to the possibility of being misled, vulnerable to the possibility being betrayed. But it also opened me back up to the possibilities of being loved, the possibilities of being in community, the possibilities of being open to the wide variety of human emotions that we can experience. Not a fun transition to make, but well worth the struggle.
Shalom to you in the rending of your hearts...
- Melanie
posted by Melanie at 9:39 AM
1 Comments:
Ouch!
That's what I say to this "rend your hearts!" buisness. That sounds painful and it is not for the weak. When I first read the thoughts for today my reaction surprised me because immediately I thought, "No way!" I have just spent more than the past year in a rather intesnse therapy setting dealing with some pain in my own life. Rending our hearts is hard and painful work. Yet, as i sit here today and refelct on this idea, I can't help but ask, "if i could go through with it for the sake of healing my relationships with my parents, how could I not go through with it when it comes to my relationship with my Heavenly Parent?" And yet, I still hesitate because I know the rending of my heart was one of the toughest years of my life.
It's a big calling! Jesus is not asking for a minimal offering when He says, "Follow me," He is asking for, a sometimes painful, heart sacrifice. It causes a tension in me that I am ashamed to admit. It goes against the very nature of our culture that has taught us all to look out for our own happiness. The message we are hearing each day is not to rend our hearts, our clothes, or anything at all. We have been thaught to live for pleasure...yet it has been a cheap pleasure we've often sought after. This is the tension i speak of...wanting to satisfy the needs that the world has told me I have, but knowing that that alone leaves my heart feeling empty anyway. Ultimately, it is trusting that the true "Joy" which comes from following Jesus is what causes me to reluctantly reach for my heart with two shaky hands and rend it to God...
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