Accepting Weakness

Vulnerability is a term that is open to much interpretation. We may think of it as tending toward ill health, such as one is vulnerable to infection or getting colds. Or, one might be vulnerable to any number of addictions. Being vulnerable often means giving in to ..... The definition I like is that of being "open to" such that we open ourselves to all that life has to offer. That openness is a strength and a weakness. It says "I am not self-sufficient" and "yes, I need you," and "I am open to your needs." As a Deacon in the United Methodist Church, I am ordained to Word and Service. It is a ministry of vulnerability. You and I are asked by God to be open to God's Spirit working in our lives, and that means you and I are to be vulnerable to the needs of others, and to be open to others reaching out to our needs. Our need for the nurturing that a faith community provides includes the strength we receive through worship, the insights we gain through study, the meaning we find in serving, and the real joy we find in being open, being vulnerable. In being vulnerable, strength and weakness are inseparable. When I say, "Sure, let's do that together," I "break away the mask of false self-sufficiency...depend on one another, ...depend on God" to which Sarah Parsons refers (p.39). Where have you shown vulnerability recently? -Joan

Expressing Emotions

Emotions are one of God's many gifts that truly enrich our pesonal lives and our relationships with others. God created us to feel and to express. I feel.... How do you feel? Not, what do you think about...but how do you feel about... I have lots of emotions these days as I move through these months of transition. I try to express them as I experience them directly, though sometimes it is best for me to monitor the flow of them. Prayer is very helpful in expressing these emotions. A quiet time with God can allow the flow of emotions such as sadness with tears, fear with questions, and joy with a song.
As Parsons notes, the Psalms are the expressions of emotion that may touch us individually and corporately. "I am weary with my moaning; everynight I flood my bed with tears;" (Psalm 6:6). "Our [my] heart is glad in him, because we [I] trust in his holy name." (Psalm 33:21) The story of Jesus praying in the Garden of Gethsemane (Matt. 26:36ff) expresses emotions. "I am deeply grieved..." "the spirit indeed is willing, but the flesh is weak."
How has entering this Lenten wilderness allowed you to be in touch with blockages that keep you from expressing your emotions, your creativity, and living authentically?
God be with you on your journey. - Joan

Naming Illusions

This is no illusion, there IS more snow out there. I must admit, I don't find myself using the word illusion very often. When I think of illusions my mind jumps to magicians such as Harry Houdini or David Copperfield as illusionists. Sarah says that most simply, "illusions distort reality." Something seems very real when it isn't. Illusions and delusions often lead us to the wrong conclusions. How do I distort reality so that I can manage my everyday? I put up walls to protect me so that I don't have to face my fears, or take risks, or experience anxiety. Oh, but when I break those walls down, I open myself to LIFE with its many facets and feelings. Most days I name the illusions and grab hold of reality. Others? I'm just thankful that God loves me unconditionally! How are illusions and/or delusions part of your every day?

I have so enjoyed reading the reflections from folks over the last week and a half. Thanks for your insights! We feed one anothers roots as we share this Lenten journey. Joan Lilja

Honoring the hardened heart

The image that came to my mind as I read this section isn't the greatest, but I thought I would share it, since it's what popped into my head right away. Sarah talks about the "armor" we put around the heart to protect it.
I was thinking in terms of a cast. Like when you break a leg, they put this thick, heavy cast on it to help it heal and protect it from further damage. The cast serves its purpose to a point. But then it needs to come off. If you just kept the cast on, it would eventually cause more harm than good, as your leg muscles atrophy. So for ultimately healing of a leg break, the cast is cut off, and the strength of the leg is gradually built back up. The process makes sense.
But when it comes to the breaking of the heart, I think we sometimes put the cast on to protect it and heal it, but then grow accustomed to living with the cast, even though it is heavy and weighs us down. We skip that last step of breaking open the cast and taking it off.
So if we give thanks for the cast and its protection, we can also recognize that a cast that's been on for a long time starts looking pretty gross and grungy.
How do you visualize the hardened heart? How has armor gotten you through difficult times? What limitations has it caused for you?

- Melanie

Rend Your Hearts

The books are in! You can pick up your copy in the church office for $10. Yeah!

For awhile during college, I had a motto that went something like this: "Trust no one but yourself and God." I had been too (?) trusting, and deeply hurt by some of my closest friends. But being deeply hurt is not a very fun place to be, so I made it through that time with my new motto. It helped for awhile, but my motto, my new way of life, left me isolated and alone. To trust no one? It stinks! It seems safe, but it is unbearably lonely. When I realized it wasn't a great way to live, I had to adjust my motto. So I had to make myself vulnerable again. Vulnerable to the possiblity being hurt, vulnerable to the possibility of being misled, vulnerable to the possibility being betrayed. But it also opened me back up to the possibilities of being loved, the possibilities of being in community, the possibilities of being open to the wide variety of human emotions that we can experience. Not a fun transition to make, but well worth the struggle.

Shalom to you in the rending of your hearts...

- Melanie

First Clearing

We begin week 2 of the readings and start to think about practices that will help clear some space. Sarah alludes to an appendix of lenten practices if you have a hard time coming up with some on your own. I'm listing her ideas from the appendix, since those of you with photocopies don't have that. Also, the books should hopefully be in by the end of the week if you are waiting on one.

Lenten Practices

1. Daily prayer/meditation time
2. Media fast - exa. - choose not to watch t.v. during certain hours of the night
3. Meditative walks
4. Art - engage in a creative activity
5. Journaling
6. Community activities
7. Service

What other ideas do you have? Please post them as a way of offering more ideas for everyone else!

- Melanie